Truth Behind a Kiss
by LoveAsThouWilt
Summary: My first fic focused on Taito. Rumors around the school get Matt to thinking about his best friend in a new light. YAOI. Fluff.


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Warning: Yaoi! Guy x Guy. Gay Digimon characters. Even if you think you don't like yaoi, I hope you'll read anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not, never did, and never will own Digimon.

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A/N: Taito was a lot harder to write than I thought.... I had lots of problems with the plot because I couldn't make myself feel what Matt was supposed to be feeling. But the point of this story wasn't the story anyway, it was trying to improve my writing style. I think I accomplished that I'm getting a little better. I've decided that I like how this fic turned out.

The time frame here is sometime in between 01 and 02. I didn't want to write in the digimon, heh. And I used dub names. I get the dub vibe from 01 characters (that makes sense to me, I don't know about you.)

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Truth behind a Kiss

by loveasthouwilt

"Did you hear...? .... did you hear about Tai...? ...."

The hallway hummed with gossip. ".....kissing......... a boy..."

Matt tried to ignore them, but it had gotten harder now that_ his_ name was popping up.

"A boy...?" the collective whispered. "....kissed a boy...? ...was it Matt?"

Matt slammed his locker door and spun around. "It wasn't me!" he growled into the crowd, then immediately regretted it. Though his outburst went mostly unheard, the few who_ had_ heard him would only think their suspicions confirmed. Tucking a textbook under his arm, he frowned and lowered his head. "It wasn't me..." he repeated bitterly. He hated gossip, hated how people were only amused by the mistakes of others, hated how people measured their own worth by how many people they deemed lower than themselves.

But that wasn't the only reason he was bitter. If the rumors were true... if Tai_ had_ kissed a boy... he hated that he was finding out this way. Tai was his best friend. If something_ that_ significant was going on in Tai's life, he was hurt that Tai hadn't trusted him with the information before going off and doing something stupid like getting caught. Not to mention inadvertently dragging Matt's name into the mix. He didn't like being labeled gay.

And he didn't want to believe Tai was either. Stupid rumors. You hear them often enough and you start to believe them. His only comfort was knowing that they were wrong about him, so maybe they were wrong about Tai, too. He would definitely have to confront his best friend concerning this issue after school.

"...did you hear about Tai?" the students continued ruthlessly. "Kissing... was it Matt?"

Matt licked dry lips as he pushed through the crowd, looking down, trying not to draw attention to himself. Usually he stood tall and arrogant, blonde hair swaying teasingly about his shoulders, girls trailing him. Tai at his side. He enjoyed the attention... usually. But this was degrading. How was he supposed to build up his image as a rock star if prospective fan girls suspected he was gay? This was a rumor he needed to dispel in a hurry!

He arrived at his classroom and slid into a chair, his neighboring students giving him quick, unsure glances. He placed his textbook on the desk and rested his hands in his lap, sitting stiff-backed and looking straight forward trying to adopt a body language that projected a cooler head than he actually had.

_ It wasn't me_, he thought._ Why can't they leave me alone_?

When class started, the students went back to temporarily minding their own business, but Matt didn't feel any more comfortable. Rumors were always based on some truth. Who_ had_ Tai been kissing?

His tongue moved against the roof of his mouth. Why would you want to kiss a guy, anyway? He had always found kissing quite satisfying and_ he_ had only kissed girls. It seemed like a guy would be too... dominating.

Yet, he couldn't help but wonder...

He rubbed his temples and sighed. He was so anxious to get away from judgmental eyes that he could hardly breathe._ It wasn't me_! his heart screamed. Despite all that, when the class was finally over, he stood calmly and walked casually among the other students out into the hall, convinced that no matter his behavior, they were going to assume the worst.

Picking up his pace a bit, he watched for Tai outside. He wanted to talk to him in person, not over the phone, and preferably as soon as possible. A full head taller than most of his peers, Matt watched the top of the crowd and in no time spotted the distinguishing mess of chestnut hair wrapped by tacky blue goggles.

Tai glanced Matt's direction and then hastily looked back forward. When Matt called out to him, the soccer star spun on his heel and grinned, "Hey, Matt!" as if noticing him for the first time. Matt motioned for Tai to walk beside him, away from eavesdroppers.

"Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to ask?" Matt said bluntly as they turned on the sidewalk that lead to Tai's apartment nearby.

Tai rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Heard about that, huh?"

"How could I not!" Matt shouted. He didn't attempt to hide his anger. Even after all that happened in the Digital World, Tai still made a habit of acting before thinking and one just couldn't_ do_ that in high school and expect people to not talk about it.

Tai shifted his books from under one arm to the other as they walked, careful not to meet Matt's eyes. "I didn't know they were gonna start talking about you. I wasn't thinking. I mean... we_ are_ together all the time... and he_ is_ tall and blonde..."

Matt sucked in a breath through his teeth, wrinkling his nose, blue eyes wide with shock. So it was true after all. Tai had been caught. Kissing a boy. He hung his shoulders and shook his head, "Why didn't you tell me..."

"I guess I just didn't want to believe it myself, at first," Tai responded with a shrug. He tucked a nonexistent strand of hair behind his ear. "I was going to tell you eventually."

"Well, now everyone knows...or they think they know," Matt said, calming his voice and looking forward, "I won't try to clear my name, that way this'll stay an unproved rumor."

"I can't ask you to do that, Matt," Tai said solemnly. "Your image means a lot to you."

That comment startled Matt. He didn't care what people thought or said about him! "You don't have to ask," he said. "I'll do it anyway. What are friends for?"

"They're not for taking the blame," Tai insisted, stuffing his free hand into the pocket of his green school uniform.

"It's no big deal, really." Well, it_ was_ a big deal, and he really didn't want to be arbitrarily labeled by his peers. But this was for Tai, not himself. And after all, no rumor was too damning that there would no longer be girls lining up to date him.

Ok, so maybe he cared what people thought about him, after all.

Tai opened his mouth to protest again, but Matt cut him off. "Don't argue with me! I'm going to do it and that's that!"

"Okay, fine," Tai muttered indignantly, "if it means that much to you."

"Oh, so you're going to be pissed off at me now?"

Tai's books hit the sidewalk in a flutter of pages and both boys rushed to grab loose papers. "I'm not pissed off, okay," Tai said, his voice shaking, "I'm scared."

Matt shifted on his knees, papers grasped in his hands, panged with guilt. Until that point, he hadn't even considered what this could mean for Tai outside of school. What would his parents think? What could he expect from life in general? "I...I'm sorry," he stuttered apologetically.

Tai gathered up his things and stood back up. "It's not your fault."

"I know. But still..." Matt picked himself up and walked wordlessly beside Tai to the apartment where Tai and his family lived. It wasn't unusual for Matt to visit after school once in a while. Tai's mother didn't have a job and she was always ready with snacks for them. Kari would show up later, having taken a carpool from the grade school, which was considerably farther away than the high school.

"Hello, Tai. Hello, Matt," Tai's mother greeted them as they came in the door. She was a very nice lady, Matt thought as he slid his shoes off. Surely she would be understanding when Tai was ready to come out to her.

"Hello, Mrs. Kamiya," he said with a smile as he followed Tai to his room.

"I'll get you boys a drink," she called out.

"That would be nice. Thank you," and then he closed the door behind them.

"Is my mom trying to feed us again?" Tai joked as he turned on the television. Though meant to be lighthearted, the humor was clearly forced, which troubled Matt. Tai was scared, which was understandable, but it was just them in the room, he could relax. Matt didn't judge him; he was his best friend.

He sat on the edge of the bottom bunk, " She said she's just bringing drinks," he answered with a small grin.

While Tai clicked through the channels, Matt watched him thoughtfully. What had brought Tai to kiss that other boy, anyway? What was so wonderful about him that Tai was willing to risk being caught? What was he thinking?!

Settling on a cartoon, Tai sat next to Matt on the bed, his eyes glued to the television, neither of them bold enough to break the ensuing silence between them. Matt took a second to look down at Tai's hands, which were tightly clenching the blanket underneath. His eyes narrowed questioningly, but he didn't say anything.

_Why is he so edgy_? Matt wondered.

"So...um... you're okay with me, right?" Tai asked suddenly.

Matt leaned back on his hands. "Of course." Then he grinned, "And, no, I don't want to know why you are what you are. Some things are better left unknown."

Tai laughed. "You never wondered what it might be like to kiss a guy?"

Matt raised an eyebrow, "No," he scoffed. "Not until all this started happening."

Tai grinned teasingly. "Then you_ have_ wondered."

Matt grabbed a pillow and slung it at Tai, "Yeah! So!" he laughed.

Tai caught the pillow as it hit him and held it to his chest, peeking over the top, his eyes twinkling, "You want to?"

Kiss Tai? Eww....

"I don't think so..." Matt said with a crooked smile. There were too many unfavorable consequences that could come from that. Even if it was just for play, just out of curiosity, it could only make their friendship awkward.

Tai sighed dramatically and hugged the pillow. "That's too bad... I really think I would have enjoyed it." He gave Matt a quick, hopeful glance.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Matt giggled. "Besides, your other blonde boyfriend would be jealous."

Tai waved his hand dismissively, "It was just a fling. He'll get over it." He reached out and poked Matt in the side, "And don't think I didn't catch that 'other' you said."

Matt sweatdropped and grinned with embarrassment, "D-Did I say 'other'? Heh, heh."

Tai tilted his head, his lip pouty, "Not even once?"

"No, Tai," Matt persisted, shaking his head.

Tai whimpered defeatedly and looked away.

Matt's tongue slid along the roof of his mouth and his eyes shifted as he considered it. Maybe... one kiss wouldn't be so bad. He hadn't kissed anyone in a long time, and he kind of missed it. And it wasn't unheard of for friends to fool around. He_ was_ curious. And if it was just for fun...and if no one would know about it...

"Maybe," he said finally, and was slightly startled by his own concession. As Tai swelled elatedly he added, "after your mom comes in with the drinks. We don't want her walking in on that."

Tai stood, careful not to hit his head against the top bunk, "Ah, thinking ahead. That's why you're the brains of this operation."

"I'm also the good looks," Matt teased, "what does that leave you?"

Walking toward the door, Tai snickered over his shoulder, "That's easy. I'm the wit!"

Matt laughed as Tai left the room, but was soon left to the silence underlying the flashing colors and sound effects of the cartoons on TV. He sucked his bottom lip nervously. He was going to kiss Tai. He felt like he should have just gotten it over with instead of putting it off, but the adventure of kissing Tai was overwhelming enough without the 'thrill' of the risk of getting caught by his mother.

When Tai came back into the room, he was carrying a tray of orange juice and cookies. "Now Mom doesn't have to come in at all," he said with a grin, closing the door behind him with his foot. He walked across the room and set the tray on his desk then turned around, rubbing the back of his neck and gazing at the floor, avoiding eye contact. "Um... are you sure you're sure, because...I don't want you to do anything you think you'll regret."

"I'm sure," Matt replied sincerely. One curious kiss wasn't going to turn him gay, after all.

A nervous smile flickered on the edges of Tai's lips. "Alright..." After turning off the television, he swallowed hard and sat beside his friend on the bed.

Matt's heart pounded in his chest. Jeez, this was like his first kiss all over again! Feeling unsure and nervous and clumsy and fearful of rejection. His eyes locked on Tai's, filled with eager terror. He_ had_ kissed before, though, so he didn't have to worry that he didn't know how. At least if he did something weird or stupid, Tai wouldn't hold it against him.

Used to being dominant in his relationships, Matt rapidly grew uncomfortable with letting Tai lead. Tai clenched his hand uncertainly before reaching up and threading his fingers into the hair at the base of Matt's neck. That action alone triggered Matt's need to flee and he pushed back against Tai's hand lightly.

Persistent, Tai held Matt firm, leaning forward, closing his eyes and tilting his head slightly. Unable to make himself shut his eyes, Matt's breathing quickened and his heart raced. Everything within him screamed escape.

The sides of their noses brushed and Matt closed his eyes, bracing himself. But Tai halted, his breath slow and hot against Matt's lips. Matt dug his fingers into the blanket below him anxiously. Leave it to Tai to tease him like this. The fingers on the back of his neck shifted, squeezing gently. A faint gasp escaped his lips and then Tai's mouth was on his, pressing lightly.

Kissing Tai was unquestionably...weird...but not unpleasant. He was so soft, so gentle, his lips warm, his thick fingers quivering in the strands of Matt's hair. Matt was actually quite comfortable being kissed by him. But before he could convince himself to kiss back, Tai was already pulling away.

"No good, huh?" he asked, his hand dropping to his side.

"I don't know," Matt responded dumbly, "just different..."

"That's ok," Tai said, casually sliding his hand up Matt's thigh and grinning. "I know_ I'll_ die happy."

Before he let Tai's hand wander any further, Matt stood and walked towards the window. He didn't know_ what_ to think. He liked Tai as a friend, but there were a lot of unwanted hardships that would come from trying to like him as more than that.

He could feel Tai's eyes boring into his back as he stared through the glass down into the street. The longer he said nothing, the more uncomfortable they were both going to be. But if he said he needed to leave, there was no telling what kind of emotional turmoil that would send Tai into. He didn't want to hurt him, and he didn't want to disappoint him, either. But he wasn't ready to love him. He wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility.

His eyes caught Tai's reflection in the glass and a smile edged his lips. He_ could_ imagine them as friends forever. He_ could_ imagine holding him when he was hurt. And being held by him.

And kissing him again...

"What are you thinking about?" Tai asked.

Matt smiled affectionately at Tai's reflection, "You...Me....Us..."

"There's an_ us_?" he replied.

Matt shook his head and focused on the buildings in the distance. "I don't know..."

"Don't know much, do ya?"

Suddenly irritated by the smart-ass remark, Matt turned to face him. "Look, Tai, I like you...but...I like girls... and...it's so much less complicated..."

Tai closed his eyes and snickered. "Slow down, there, Matt. I never asked you to date me, I just asked you to kiss me."

Matt's shoulders slumped, wounded by Tai's lack of disappointment. Then he quickly looked away again, embarrassed that he had jumped to conclusions, and shamed that he had expected more from Tai than he was willing to return.

"Hey, Matt?"

"Yes, Tai?"

"I'd like for there to be an 'us'..."

Matt's eyes narrowed incredulously. Every time he was convinced Tai wasn't emotionally attached to him, he revealed otherwise. He wished he'd make up his mind. "So now you_ are_ asking me to date you?"

"Um..." Tai rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah." Then he looked back up at Matt. "No one has to know about it...not at first...not ever, if that's what you want."

When Matt didn't respond, Tai continued. "I don't want to screw up our friendship. If you don't want to, I'll understand and I'll quit bugging you about it."

Matt sighed. "I feel like... I want to.... but I can't convince myself to do it."

Tai smiled. "Well, at least I have you thinking. It's more than I ever allowed myself to hope for."

Matt bit his lip._ What am I so afraid of? He's fun. He's attractive. I can't imagine ever being without him. He understands me better than anyone ever has or ever will. And after the initial shock... I liked kissing him_.

A smile crossed his face. Maybe he'd like it more if he led next time...

Yes...next time.

He sat next to Tai and placed a hand on his, threading slender fingers between Tai's. "Alright, I'm convinced," Matt said cheerfully. "It'll be an adventure."

Tai snickered and squeezed Matt's hand, "Like we need any more adventure."

Matt's eyes narrowed mischievously as he turned and leaned towards Tai, "I thought you were into_ exploration_"

Tai's eyes sparkled as Matt moved down on him, "Well... when you put it that way..."

_ to be continued_


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